Gen-Xers: Are we keeping Millennials from knowing Jesus?

When my generation (Gen-X) was the younger generation, I desperately wanted the older church generation to "get it."

We Gen-Xers once thought we had the best, freshest, and most innovative ideas in moving churches forward.

We felt that what the older generations considered benchmarks of Christian maturity were what made the church seem not so relevant and even dead to the younger generation. 

We wanted to live out a Christianity that was real, powerful and full of life. Many in our generation felt we were not finding it in churches.

For us, it was hard to find the abundant Christian life in committees, business meetings, church politics, not-so relevant worship services and traditions.

Our generation's attempts to change worship styles, eliminate ministry programs, challenge church bureaucracy, do away with unnecessary meetings, and create greater efficiency so that we could focus on what we believed mattered most to Jesus were often met with strong resistance.

As a result, many of us had a difficult time making the connection between church, the Bible and everyday life. 

It seemed as though the older generations did everything possible to maintain the way they wanted church life to be. We felt that previous generations did not "get it."

So we often found ourselves wondering, "What's the point?"

Many left Church. 

Those who stayed, worked hard to lead their churches to be more effective in reaching our generation. Over time, churches started to become more of what we believed church should be like.

Today, the  generational cycle repeats itself. 

Millennials believe they have better, fresher, and more innovative ideas for church than us. To Millennials, Gen-X is the establishment, old school, and disconnected.

If we are not careful, Gen-Xers will treat Millennials in ways we felt the older generations treated us. Outwardly, it may not look the same but the heart of it is the same. Let me share some examples:

Some Gen-Xers don't like hanging out with Millennials. Because you don't understand them, don't like the way they think, don't like the way they dress, and question their maturity, you ignore Millennials. You feel they need to grow up, you think you are too good for them, you are afraid of them, or you really don't care.

So just like the generations before us, we build walls. 

Some Gen-Xers feel that Millennials need to "pay their dues" and grow up before they are given a shot. In church, we fail to give Millennials opportunities to lead and grow. We also take away their creative abilities and make them work really hard to fit our box. 

Here's my point. While we wait for Millennials to "get it," we are letting great ideas, passion, talent, and leadership pass by.

Gen-Xers, remember what it was like when we felt we had so much to give but no where to give? Remember what it was like to face resistance from the generations before us? Remember what it was like to have our passion for God squashed? Remember what it was like to feel like our souls were dying at the vine?

Remember "that" person or "those" people? You know, those who held you back from pursuing what God laid on your heart. 

Are you now "that" person to the Millennials?

Although we do not like to admit it, we Gen-Xers in many ways are becoming like the generations before us. 

Some Gen-Xers' top reason for belonging to a church is whether or not a church can fulfill their needs. When finding a church, we often look for a church with people just like us or in the same stage of life--marriage, family, jobs, extra-curricular activities, interests, etc.

Having our needs met should not be the primary reason for joining a church. The primary reasons should be because God calls us to be there, the truth of God's word is taught and not compromised, and that we can faithfully be on Jesus' mission to further the Gospel through that church.

When being part of any church centers around us and not Jesus, we become a church of self-absorbed people. Remember when we thought older people were selfish, not willing to budge, and wanted to make us be like them? We come across the same way when church is built around us and not Jesus. 

Some Gen-Xers are unwilling to do whatever it takes to reach Millennials with the Gospel. So instead of reaching Millennials, our message is that they need to become like us.

We have created systems in our churches that Millennials may struggle to relate with. We love our system and how we do church. We have worked really hard to get here and are comfortable. We have fought the worship wars, name change issue (especially if you took "Baptist" out of your church name), streamlined the church structure, and tore down bureaucracy.

Because church is now finally the way we want it, we put everything on cruise control. We want to enjoy the ride from here on out. 

If we ever get to this place, it becomes very easy to dismiss the younger generation. 

Sound familiar? 

Gen-Xers, some of us are making it difficult for the next generations to know Jesus and grow in Him. We have become the very people at church we once resented. Whether intentionally or not, many of us are discouraging younger generations from pursuing Jesus.

Let us turn the tide as we turn to Jesus.

How can followers of Jesus and churches overcome the generational divide?

1. Focus on Jesus. The generational divide will cause each of us to be either "us" focused or "them" focused. We focus on having our needs and wants met. Or, meeting the needs of the next generation take precedence over Jesus.

God has molded and shaped us as individuals and generations to be who we are--with our strengths and weaknesses. The beauty of the Gospel is that it's all about Jesus.

When we are united around Jesus, we do not see generations as something to divide over. Instead, we see a family who Jesus loves and died for. We will be on Jesus' mission together to lead others to join us in worshipping God through Jesus.

Jesus must be central to our message. His life, death on the cross for our sins, His resurrection, and eternal life that comes through Jesus alone.

We must preach that our sins keep us from God but that salvation is made possible to anyone who repents of our sins, surrenders our lives to Jesus, and trusts Him as Lord and Savior.

We must share that in Christ, we experience the realities of the Gospel at the moment Jesus saves us--that is when eternal and abundant life happens. 

2. Gen-Xers must be willing to sacrifice preferences so that Millennials can hear the Gospel. Generational disconnect often happens when we make our preferences an idol. I agree that when younger generations talk about worship styles and churches, they are talking about preferences. I would also go as far as saying that preferences drive them and could be an idol.

This may lead some in the older generations (yes, my generation included) to say, "Gotcha! Shouldn't the Millennials give in some to what we want?" 

My response would be that we need to do whatever it takes to present the Gospel clearly in a way that Millennials can understand. Whether it's through preaching, worship style, church leadership, church style, etc. 

Here's why. I believe that far too often, the older generations in many churches hold on to their preferences. Many in the older generations will say, "But the younger generations need to learn how to sacrifice." 

True. However, if we in the older generations have followed Jesus and been in church for many, many years, shouldn't reaching the next generations and passing on the Gospel baton be of great importance? 

Trust me on this--Millennials are not turned off to Jesus and the Gospel. They are turned off to our preferences and often confuse our preferences with the Gospel. Knowing that our preferences could be a hindrance to reaching Millennials with the Gospel, we should consider sacrificing our preferences.

The great benefit of this is that when older generations sacrifice with joy, love, and hope--younger generations will see what that looks like. Where hanging on to preferences builds walls, sacrifice will model what building a bridges looks like. Younger generations will learn from what is modeled.

When sacrifice begins with the older generations, Millennials will reach out to the older generations. They will no longer see the older generations as the enemy but as people who truly love them and want them to know about Jesus. But the older generations need to step out first. This becomes a model of church life that should be passed on and perpetuated. 

3.  Gen-Xers must be intentional in reaching out and building relationships with Millennials. We often don't reach out to Millennials because (even if we do not admit this) we are afraid. We think we are not cool enough, we don't speak their language, we don't understand their technology, and feel to old for them.

Here's the truth. Millennials know all that about you already. In fact, they do not want you to act cool, be like them, speak their language, know their technology, or act young. Doing all that will make you come across as fake, stilted, and clumsy. What they want most is for us to be real with them and to invest in them. 

What is the best way to connect with Millennials? 

Time. 

Invest in Millennials, listen to them, spend time with them, answer their questions, show that you love and care for them. This is a key characteristic of those who successfully engage with Millennials.

Are you willing to engage with Millennials on a personal basis? 

4.  Gen-Xers and Millennials should serve together in ministry and missions. Serving on missions, ministry and doing Jesus' work together will break generational barriers.

Why? Because you or what you want are not the focus. Jesus' mission is the focus. When we take our eyes off ourselves for the sake of Jesus, we see how God uses each of us for His Kingdom purpose. We see a beautiful picture of God's family working together and how everyone matters. 

5. Gen-Xers should teach the full counsel of God's Word without compromise. We need to talk about sin, repentance, and that Jesus is the only way to God. We need to be able to explain why the Bible is perfect and truly God's Word. We need to teach how God's Word applies to us today in all situations. We need to share how and why the Bible is authoritative. We need to teach and live out the power of God's Word.

Teach what God expects and challenge Millennials to obey God's Word. Do not water down or cut corners in teaching the Bible. Do not try to soften, weaken, or turn Bible Study or preaching into story time or comedy hour.

Millennials like every other generation are asking these questions about the Bible:

"Is it true?"

"Is there power in it?"

"Can I trust the Bible?"

"How does the Bible apply to what I am going through?"

"What makes the Bible the ultimate source of truth?"

"Is this really a revelation of God and His plan for this world?"

Cute stories, funny jokes and a watered down version of the Bible will not answer these questions because they are powerless. So teach the Bible well under the authority of the Holy Spirit. 

Bottom line. As part of our Gospel responsibility, Gen-Xers let us pass on the baton well to the next generation.